Dreaming of Kimchee by Yoshimoto Banana

The narrator seemed very insecure and depressed (most likely suffering from mild depression), at least in the beginning of the story, yet also capricious and optimistic, in a way, as she was able to get back on her feet at the end of the story. It seems she had been suffering from depression and loneliness for awhile as she was constantly stressed about her relationship with a married man and the social condemnations on extramarital affairs and home wreckers. There is also an internal struggle with how she thinks of herself and how society perceives her or third parties, in general. She feels constantly pressured by society of how women should act and how every woman who has an affair with a married man is loose or a slut. However, she doesn't want to be conformed by the standards of society and dismisses the common explanation that everyone gives for people having extramarital affairs. Everyone easilty believes in rumors, makes baseless assumptions on people, and jumps to conclusions without analyzing the actual sutatuation and knowing the people involved in the relationship. She feels that not all women want to be third parties and wreck other women's marriage, and not all of them are how the society and media perceive them to be. She was also very conscious of and affected by the articles about the extramarItal affairs that she had never felt before she was married. It seems that the reason these magazines are starting to affect her now, after she married, is because there is a possibility that she will become victim to infidelity from her husband. Marriage, for her, did not alleviate any of her worries, except it even worsened her condition. She would feel scared and lonely whenever her husband was never home. In fact, she felt safer before she was married. When she had lived with her sister, the narrator felt that even without her then boyfriend's, now husband, presence, she was warm. However, becoming a married woman herself, she is scared of becoming cheated just like how she stole someone's husband. She feels guilty for stealing someone's husband and sympathy for his ex-wife, yet she doesn't know how to help he or fix the situation. At the same time, she is starting to feel paranoid that what had happened to the ex-wife would happen to her. Her thoughts are clearly affected by the ex-wife's words"men who are unfaithful once are bound to cheat again" (true to a certain extent but we shouldn't generalize-there may be many reasons as to why marriage doesn't work in the first place that led to an affair). However, her depressed and solemn mood was suddenly lifted and thoughts of her sweet moments with her husband were coming back to her, as if her sins were redeemed and her soul was replenished. The narrator no longer feels suspicious or paranoid that her husband may be cheating on her. However, I believe this suddenness and change of mood made very much sense when it was revealed that her husband's ex-wife was getting married to a younger man and seemed to be in high spirits. The narrator now no longer feels burdened by her guilt for the ex-wife, thereby liberating her depression. Overcoming depression is hard and full remission is hard to maintain, so I feel that the narrator is also pretty strong and impressive for being able to bounce back to normal and have such positivity.


Discussion Questions: What is the significance of kimchee? What did the narrator mean at the end of the story that "That night, I believed with the same purity and innocence"?